Hi Donna, I'm a big fan of Leftist Looney Lunch and of your comments at
Feministe, and I was wondering if you might be interested in guest-blogging at
Feministe sometime this fall. I'd also like to invite AradhanaD and
bharatiyawadi, but I don't have their email addresses -- I'm not sure if they'd
be interested and I know at least AradhanaD has expressed some distaste for
Feministe before, but they're both really good and I'd like to at least extend
the offer if you think they might consider it. So could you forward the question
on to them as well, or ask them to email me?- Someone at Feministe
My Response:
Also Someone as an addendum to the previous email that Donna will be forwarding you, don't you think that when you ask someone that you SUPPOSEDLY would like to guestblog that you would afford them some semblance of courtesy by taking the time to actually check their email in their profile and email them DIRECTLY?
Not that hard to do, but from your gesture it's obvious that your invitation was not sincere from the get-go. So, when you ask a WOC to guestblog on your site, you want to use another WOC as a go-between for an empty and hollow invitation that you don't really want to follow through on? you've got to be kidding me Someone, and you've really learned about white privilege haven't you?
Whatever,
-AD
PART TWO - IN WHICH I AM RIDICULOUS AND HYSTERICAL!
AD,
I'm sorry you feel that way, and I'm sorry that my actions came across so poorly. My invitation was sincere; if I didn't want you to guest-blog, I wouldn't have asked. I don't think that my emailing DonnaDarko was an indication of insincerity. I went to your site, clicked on "about" section, and didn't see an email contact. I clicked on bharatiyawwadi's profile and didn't see an email. I had Donna's email from one of her recent comments on Feministe, and so I figured I would just email her and ask her to pass it on. People ask me to pass things on to my co-bloggers all the time, so it didn't even occur to me that it would be insulting or an indication of "white privilege."
I'm sure you have perfectly good reasons for disliking me and I'm not particularly interested in getting into an email or blog war with you, but I think you're being ridiculous here. Now I see you've posted my email on your blog. My comment about you expressing your distaste for Feministe was a reaction to a comment you left on my post about prostitution a week or so ago (I'd link to it, but I'm on a connection that bars sites it deems "obscene," including parts of Feministe). It was simply my recognition that you've had problems with me/my blog in the past, and that despite that, I was still hoping you'd consider contributing. I'm sorry if that came off poorly. I figured it was better to address the issue head-on than to pretend that I had no idea how you felt.
All that said, I have a feeling you would have told me to fuck off no matter how I had phrased the email, and no matter who I had sent it to. And that's fine. If you ever change your mind or if you'd like to discuss this further, let me know.
-Someone
Someone,
you've got to be kidding me, can you please get over yourself.
1) You didn't email me personally, so yes, your email was hollow and indicative of your white privilege - while you expected Donna, a WOC, to do your work for you. You could have easily checked my profile where my email is available. Or you could have asked Donna for my email, but instead - you asked Donna to either pass on the message or ask me to email you! 2) I don't know you, and sorry I couldn't care less to bother about it. I don't like feministe as a blog - what don't you get about that? I think it's a hostile space for WOC women to post, as your audience is largely full of white men and liberal feminists. What is it about you white women that you think it's personal and about you all the time? It's systemic, and no offence no matter what you do with feministe - it's not my space. It's what in the 80s feminists would deem fairly liberal feminist. Again, that's not about you - it's about the space feminist, I don't know you - and don't care to. 3) Let me get this straight, the fact that you aren't taking responsibility for your RUDENESS, means I'm the one being RIDICULOUS? WHAT? So, to add insult to injury - I'm being RIDICULOUS. Hey as a WOC, it's not like I've never heard that before. In fact, us WOC are always ridiculous and hysterical. But you see now, you're going to be thinking "But AD, you are the unreasonable one here, I didn't do anything wrong. I asked your dumb-ass to guest blog on the holy grail of feminist websites and you were rude about it". And again, that's your white privilege talking my dear someone, where you a) don't accept responsibility for your rudeness and then b) blame it on the person who speaks out against you. But whatever, we're used to this.... white men and women do it to us all the time. Now what's going through your head "you are making this into a race-issue when it isn't". But then I'll say to you - it's a damn system somoene, and you not having the courtesy to DIRECTLY EMAIL ME is indicative of your privilege.
4) The last point is sheer rudeness, RACIST and RIDICULOUS. "All that said, I have a feeling you would have told me to fuck off no matter how I had phrased the email, and no matter who I had sent it to. And that's fine. If you ever change your mind or if you'd like to discuss this further, let me know."
Do you know me? Unless you claim to possess super-psychic abilities you do not know whether or not I would respond with sheer courteous elegance or with hostility if you asked me directly.
BUT, instead you CHOSE TO JUDGE ME without knowing anything about me or ever having engaged with me PERSONALLY. Engagement on your blog is different as it is on a particular subject. Why is this racist? Because you judged, you prejudged and that's systemic. It's a pattern of behaviour.
So to this I would say - $(&&((@&#(@&
BTW - your welcome for keeping your name on my blog anonymous - I'd be pretty embarassed if I was you.
This conversation is OVER!
-AD ________________________________
