Dear S,
So much more...than this...
fitter, healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics
Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning.
I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent
This is my final fit, my final bellyache
Love A
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Friday, November 24, 2006
Getting out of a depression: some personal* advice
*Disclaimer: I am not a medical expert, this is not 'expert medical advice'. This is just from my own personal experience, having suffered from depression several years ago.
I don't know why lately many people I know are feeling 'down' or even 'depressed'. Having suffered from a serious depression about 5 years ago, I am trying to recall how I managed to get out of it. I decided to blog about this because of recent blogs that I have read, where the bloggers were also going through depression. I don't know if this will help but these are some of the things that helped me. Much of this might sound like recycled goo that people have been telling you anyways, but I am not just paying lip service here - these things really helped me recover.
1) Learn to live with yourself. Seriously, you are the only one who can really help yourself get through this and when you are feeling depressed you might turn defensive when other people don't 'get' why you are down. You aren't a bad person - and try to see if it's a bad self-image that you have (I'm not talking just about body image here), you might just be your own worst critic. DO NOT be hard on yourself. There is no point. You need to realize this is an illness like anything else. When you break your arm or your leg, it takes time to heal, allow yourself time to heal when you are depressed. You are not going to get better overnight.
2) Get OUT! Seriously, if you find yourself lying around the house in your pjs all day, watching television too much, sleeping too much/too little, eating too much/too little, ignoring household chores, you need to get out. Getting out may start to seem like a big task, it may start to seem like you can't or that you just don't want to be around anyone or see anyone. So start SMALL. Start with getting out to pick up a coffee, the newspaper, go get a loaf of bread from the corner store, go to the bookstore, sit in a park by yourself, walk twice around your block. Anything, just get out - especially if you really don't want to.
3) Call someone that cares about you just to say hi. Or to rephrase, call someone who you know cared about you at some point (though you aren't sure if they still do). Sometimes in a depression people tend to block off others from their life. It starts by avoiding calls, by not returning calls, basically by isolating yourself from social events/interactions. The funny thing is, this is a very vicious cycle. You start believing no one cares about you, when in fact you've facilitated their 'neglect' of you. So call someone that you know cares for you, even if they aren't your bestest friend, even if they don't 'get' you. Just call them. It really helps. And don't play the 'oh it's a sign game' if they don't answer the phone. There are no signs - just like when you aren't depressed and you get a busy tone/no answer - it's the same thing when you are depressed.
4) Set small achievable goals. When I was depressed, I spent most of my time wallowing in the worst self-pity imaginable. I'm talking 18 hours of sleep a day. It was really sad! I learned to set small goals for myself. I'm not even talking about finishing an essay/writing a chapter of a book/making a 7 course meal.
When I say small goals, I mean getting that load of laundry done, cleaning the mess off your desk, opening and eating a can of a soup, washing the dishes in the sink, scrubbing your toilet, going grocery shopping for that can of soup. Once you start developing a pattern you should be able to finish that essay, write that book and making a 7 course meal for the friends you stopped calling.
5) Establish a semblance of a routine. Maybe you are working full-time/part-time - but what are you doing with the hours that you aren't working? Are you doing some of those things I mentioned in #2? When you get home from work, start making sure that around a certain time you get out, do some household chores, cook yourself a meal and call one of your friends. You need not stick to a defined schedule but try to do as much as you can and give yourself plenty of time to do these things.
6) Let it out! Cry and let it out. You need to. You will feel much better if you do. If you are on the subway, in a park, in a public area - find a public washroom and let it out. Sometimes crying can not be helped. When you are depressed you will feel helpless so it is normal to cry during this time. Let it out!
7) Define what makes you content. This is NOT easy. It took me forever to find out what makes me happy. For most (dare I say all) of us happiness is not 'easy' to get, it's a process - it's not an item or object that makes us happy. For me it was knowing I could do a job well. That takes time and also requires drawing motivation to accomplish it. Think about what has made you happy in the past, define those moments that made you the happiest and figure out why you were happy when you did them. Was it a particular activity that made you feel that way? Do you think you could try that again? Is there anything in particular that is stopping you from participating in this? Can you try it again? Do you have anything to lose if you did?
8) Volunteer. I can honestly say that volunteering nearly saved my life. It's not that you just go out and spend 3 hours a week doing something. You have to find something that you like. Most organizations will evaluate your skills based on your past work/volunteer experiences. Chances are if you have done certain things in the past that you liked doing those things/that you are good at them. There are a wide variety of organizations you can volunteer for. It's seriously the best thing I did when I was depressed. I got to make new friends, met like-minded people, got to go out, did something that satisfied me, made some kind of change - it's especially such a damn feministerly thing to do too!!!
Again this is just from my experience, I don't think this can apply to everyone, each person who undergoes depression is facing a unique experience. I know many of my friends who were new immigrants had a very difficult time adjusting to Canada - and in this case I recommended them to see someone about it. If you feel suicidal, or have recurring thoughts about suicide you do need to see someone.
Rest assured, if you have faced a terribly bad depression and feel much better after some time - the next time you are depressed it may just be that the worst has already passed. I haven't been as depressed since that time. I do occasionally get 'down' but that's 'normal' I guess.
Also, I will post about how to get over a 'feminist/leftist' headache sometime in the near future. :)
Update: From Jen's Friends LJ (Feb 20/07) regarding this entry: "I'm pretty sure it's talking about situational depression as opposed to clinical depression.... But situational depression (which was what mine was) is entirely different than clinical depression, and I'm not sure everyone understands the difference. Clinical depression isn't just being down or sad or even depressed for a while - it's a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes it extremely difficult to see the world through anything but mud-coloured glasses. Or so's my understanding.
[ETA: Asked someone. Got this: Situational can still involve a chemical imbalance. a trauma can throw it out of whack for a while. Antidepressants would help but it would probably correct itself eventually on its own. So's my understanding anyway.]"
Thank you for that clarification - I appreciate it, I did not know the difference.
I don't know why lately many people I know are feeling 'down' or even 'depressed'. Having suffered from a serious depression about 5 years ago, I am trying to recall how I managed to get out of it. I decided to blog about this because of recent blogs that I have read, where the bloggers were also going through depression. I don't know if this will help but these are some of the things that helped me. Much of this might sound like recycled goo that people have been telling you anyways, but I am not just paying lip service here - these things really helped me recover.
1) Learn to live with yourself. Seriously, you are the only one who can really help yourself get through this and when you are feeling depressed you might turn defensive when other people don't 'get' why you are down. You aren't a bad person - and try to see if it's a bad self-image that you have (I'm not talking just about body image here), you might just be your own worst critic. DO NOT be hard on yourself. There is no point. You need to realize this is an illness like anything else. When you break your arm or your leg, it takes time to heal, allow yourself time to heal when you are depressed. You are not going to get better overnight.
2) Get OUT! Seriously, if you find yourself lying around the house in your pjs all day, watching television too much, sleeping too much/too little, eating too much/too little, ignoring household chores, you need to get out. Getting out may start to seem like a big task, it may start to seem like you can't or that you just don't want to be around anyone or see anyone. So start SMALL. Start with getting out to pick up a coffee, the newspaper, go get a loaf of bread from the corner store, go to the bookstore, sit in a park by yourself, walk twice around your block. Anything, just get out - especially if you really don't want to.
3) Call someone that cares about you just to say hi. Or to rephrase, call someone who you know cared about you at some point (though you aren't sure if they still do). Sometimes in a depression people tend to block off others from their life. It starts by avoiding calls, by not returning calls, basically by isolating yourself from social events/interactions. The funny thing is, this is a very vicious cycle. You start believing no one cares about you, when in fact you've facilitated their 'neglect' of you. So call someone that you know cares for you, even if they aren't your bestest friend, even if they don't 'get' you. Just call them. It really helps. And don't play the 'oh it's a sign game' if they don't answer the phone. There are no signs - just like when you aren't depressed and you get a busy tone/no answer - it's the same thing when you are depressed.
4) Set small achievable goals. When I was depressed, I spent most of my time wallowing in the worst self-pity imaginable. I'm talking 18 hours of sleep a day. It was really sad! I learned to set small goals for myself. I'm not even talking about finishing an essay/writing a chapter of a book/making a 7 course meal.
When I say small goals, I mean getting that load of laundry done, cleaning the mess off your desk, opening and eating a can of a soup, washing the dishes in the sink, scrubbing your toilet, going grocery shopping for that can of soup. Once you start developing a pattern you should be able to finish that essay, write that book and making a 7 course meal for the friends you stopped calling.
5) Establish a semblance of a routine. Maybe you are working full-time/part-time - but what are you doing with the hours that you aren't working? Are you doing some of those things I mentioned in #2? When you get home from work, start making sure that around a certain time you get out, do some household chores, cook yourself a meal and call one of your friends. You need not stick to a defined schedule but try to do as much as you can and give yourself plenty of time to do these things.
6) Let it out! Cry and let it out. You need to. You will feel much better if you do. If you are on the subway, in a park, in a public area - find a public washroom and let it out. Sometimes crying can not be helped. When you are depressed you will feel helpless so it is normal to cry during this time. Let it out!
7) Define what makes you content. This is NOT easy. It took me forever to find out what makes me happy. For most (dare I say all) of us happiness is not 'easy' to get, it's a process - it's not an item or object that makes us happy. For me it was knowing I could do a job well. That takes time and also requires drawing motivation to accomplish it. Think about what has made you happy in the past, define those moments that made you the happiest and figure out why you were happy when you did them. Was it a particular activity that made you feel that way? Do you think you could try that again? Is there anything in particular that is stopping you from participating in this? Can you try it again? Do you have anything to lose if you did?
8) Volunteer. I can honestly say that volunteering nearly saved my life. It's not that you just go out and spend 3 hours a week doing something. You have to find something that you like. Most organizations will evaluate your skills based on your past work/volunteer experiences. Chances are if you have done certain things in the past that you liked doing those things/that you are good at them. There are a wide variety of organizations you can volunteer for. It's seriously the best thing I did when I was depressed. I got to make new friends, met like-minded people, got to go out, did something that satisfied me, made some kind of change - it's especially such a damn feministerly thing to do too!!!
Again this is just from my experience, I don't think this can apply to everyone, each person who undergoes depression is facing a unique experience. I know many of my friends who were new immigrants had a very difficult time adjusting to Canada - and in this case I recommended them to see someone about it. If you feel suicidal, or have recurring thoughts about suicide you do need to see someone.
Rest assured, if you have faced a terribly bad depression and feel much better after some time - the next time you are depressed it may just be that the worst has already passed. I haven't been as depressed since that time. I do occasionally get 'down' but that's 'normal' I guess.
Also, I will post about how to get over a 'feminist/leftist' headache sometime in the near future. :)
Update: From Jen's Friends LJ (Feb 20/07) regarding this entry: "I'm pretty sure it's talking about situational depression as opposed to clinical depression.... But situational depression (which was what mine was) is entirely different than clinical depression, and I'm not sure everyone understands the difference. Clinical depression isn't just being down or sad or even depressed for a while - it's a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes it extremely difficult to see the world through anything but mud-coloured glasses. Or so's my understanding.
[ETA: Asked someone. Got this: Situational can still involve a chemical imbalance. a trauma can throw it out of whack for a while. Antidepressants would help but it would probably correct itself eventually on its own. So's my understanding anyway.]"
Thank you for that clarification - I appreciate it, I did not know the difference.
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