Between work, school, health, volunteering and zillions of other things, I've just been busy. I just wanted everyone to know. Thanks for the messages. I started almost half a dozen posts and never finished them. Maybe in a few days :(
Richard - I'll check in on the mssg you sent me, re: Barbie's Worst Enemy.
Jimmy - thanks for letting me know about the vids.
PS Lauren has compiled the February version of HUHO.
My contribution was Ayurvedic cough syrup (under recipes in the tags below).
TY
Showing posts with label HUHO. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HUHO. Show all posts
Monday, February 05, 2007
Saturday, December 30, 2006
How to Stop Being an Ignorant/Indifferent White Feminist...
Post dedication Yolanda, cause I don't want to see another WOC blogger leave.
Why'd I start this blog?
Actually, I had no intention of starting one because I'm not the best writer, and I read far too many blogs/articles per day to even try to summarize what I want to say. But at a certain point, I realized when I wrote comments on other people's blogs I was either a)muted b)'attacked'/'insulted' by librul white bois c)generally ignored. So, basically I started this blog for some space to call my own as a WOC.
Anyways, despite being 'political' there are indeed some topics I tend to shy away from (again because I don't think I am the best writer and we all tend to believe - 'someone else is already doing it, do I really need to?'). One of these topics I shy away from is the inability of white feminists to understand their own ignorance and perpetuation of 'racism'. Oh shite, shoot me cause I know y'all are thinking "bloody hell, there goes another one of those coloured gals playing the race card". Whine, whine, whine - is this all these coloured gals do?
It's really quite funny because if it wasn't for the internet I would not have any 'white' (white as 'dominant' not ethnic/religious minority) feminist friends. I do indeed surround myself with people of colour (both progressive and non-progressive). Having said that, I'm not a stranger to internet feminist communities and like many of you, I started out by participating at the Ms. Boards eons ago. At that time however, I was not 'officially' a feminist. I was a learner/lurker.
Over the years, one thing has been made clearer to me than ever - it's that the internet is a white space. Yeah, we can harp about how it's egalitarian - promises to be so etc... But anyone who has a site-meter should/can easily figure out which countries their traffic is coming from. Whatever happened to the golden promises of bridging the 'digital divide'... like everything else that's about inequitable distribution it's been thrown on the back-burner.
I digress, if the majority of bloggers are white and male, and the majority of feminist bloggers are white and middle-class it is no wonder that 'we' (WOC) are often discontent with the content of blogistan. Because I am not a separatist by any account and don't want to start a 'fight' (though there shouldn't be any for anything that I'm saying) I am trying to approach this matter as calmly and rationally as I can.
The following are just my suggestions about how you can stop being an ignorant/indifferent white feminist:
1) Stop quoting mainstream white conservative/liberal media for your 'token' race relations post. BUT if you do - try to look at that article from a 'third world perspective'/'Global South' perspective.
No, I'm fucking serious. You're all very quick to dissect mainstream news when they report/misreport some event that happens to any white woman. You instantly call bias when you see it. You're the first to point out "they're insulting said woman because they said this or that" (and I fully support you when you do this). But, don't you think that the same 'biased' lens is used to report on things that happen to the 'poor, oppressed, 'retarded', incapable, hopeless, voiceless' women of colour masses that comprise the majority of the world? You know it was this same 'save the women of Afghanistan' bullshit that was used by the US govt to invade Afghanistan, right? Women's rights didn't matter until GW wanted to invade a country, despite Afghan women who repeatedly called out for help under the Taliban often risking their lives to call out to the outside world.
So this should make you wonder how WOC are used in the mainstream media. Here's a clue, they're primarily used to perpetuate the idea that all MOC are evil-coloured-patriarchs and they're cultures are backwards and stupid. This is called "R-A-C-I-S-M".
I am not saying that you point out the WOC oppression globally in order to perpetuate myths about them, but rather NONE of this 'documentation work' that you do is supported by adequate WOC analysis or references. I.e you post about it - without any contextualization. You rarely do that for ANY articles written about white women. You scoff and laugh at how they are written in favour of patriarchy.
It's easy to point out patriarchy exists everywhere, it's harder to get a clue on how mainstream media rarely points out stories of the strong women of colour that do amazing work ALL OVER THE WORLD. With all these pathetic coloured women that exist globally - you'd wonder how a diasporic south asian woman ever got 'radicalized'... huh?
Indeed, a very nice prof of mine did ask me this very patronizing question once "How'd you ever become a south Asian [emphasis hers] radical feminist?", to which I responded "the same way you became a white one".
So when you post up an article about how the oppressed, miserable coloured women of the world who are dying under evil-coloured-people's patriarchy - try in some form or shape to account for media bias.
2) Read more WOC books. As a WOC I've been indoctrinated into the same white patriarchal BS that all of you have too, and like you it was not by 'choice'. Like you, I too have to do my homework. I've read all the cornerstone feminist books that you have (more or less) - but how many WOC perspectives do you seriously read? Do you own more than 5 WOC books? Do you own at least 2-3 post-colonial feminist readers/compilations? Do you own any third world books written by WOC?
Even if you do, do you feel you thoroughly understand everything that is being said in those books?
Any feminist theory 101 class has that nice little 'minorities' section tacked on at the end, but seriously - do you think your education on WOC extends only thus far? Because if it does, well then - I too should stop reading all the new material that keeps on being added to this body of work daily. "Hey, we read bell hooks' "Ain't I a Woman" back in 1981, that's all the education we need to know. We're down with the you need your own space bit. We also clap when you make some noise too, we're not the R-word."
Like my own process of ridding myself of my own prejudices will NEVER come to a halt, neither does yours. You too must continually 'get with the program' and 'upgrade' your views. As we know feminism is not isolated from the other political/economic/social pogroms that happen in our world.
3) Stop reacting to our requests with knee-jerkedness. We're not attacking you, we're saying this cause we consider you our allies and if you really support women or claim to be a 'feminist' i.e. one who fights for 'women's rights' then you better realize "I am a woman too" or maybe you need to read "Ain't I a Woman" a few hundred times again.
Such knee-jerkedness is similar to the way privileged white men respond to your accusations of sexism. Accusations that we as women also support.
The funny thing is, y'all probably feel you need to walk on eggshells before you address anything cultural/racial... funny thing is as you will see further in this post how much I have had to hold in over the past few months when I visit your blogs.
4) Don't use us as tokens. This rarely happens in blogistan, but it does happen more often than not in the 'real world'. Many of you feminist bloggers are quick to point out that 'your blogs are not educational resources for men', instead men should take it upon themselves to educate themselves about their own privilege. Likewise, you as white women need to do the same. We are not your token pieces. We are not 'obligated' to 'educate' you about race relations or anything else for that matter.
Like you, on some days I want to just 'shoot the shit'. I do not want to post about feminism/racism/whatever else. I too just want to put up a youtube video and bop my head up and down...
5) This should be fucking self-explanatory: Stop tolerating racist shit on your blogs. And by racist, I'm not only talking about 'overt' racism (which should be obvious) - but the kind of ignorant remarks that I do not have the time or energy to respond to but have read on more than one occasion.
As a radical leftist I am usually quite unforgiving and though my little blog does not matter much - there is a reason why your ass will never be on my 'blogroll' regardless of how big/important/analytical/famous it is. Largely it's because you just don't get it. I may link to a wonderful post you've written, I may link to ten of them because the quality of your writing is amazing and I completely recognize that - but I will never put you on my blogroll. ('yeah, yawn whoop dee doo AD, who cares!').
Some examples:
a) Reclusive Leftist: I really don't know why I am bothering when you continue to tolerate such a vile 'troll' just because you two are 'friends'. Disgusting that's all I can say. Poltergeist - don't even f'ing bother posting here - I will indeed delete every single comment you make.
b) I Blame the Patriarchy:
In which there are at least half a dozen really fucked up comments:
Quote: What really annoyed me about all this was the way some Indian men would come to the West, enjoy the sexual freedom offered here and then go back to India to marry the virgin their families had found for them.
Oh yeah, you know cause those really crazy fucked upeth horny brown men can't keep their hands off pure white pussy, those beastly, junglee savages! Of course this comparison can only be made because 'civilized and educated white men never, ever expect women to be virgins for them'.
Um, sorry lady - it's because women in the west are repeatedly and openly hyper-sexualized (of course not because it's their fault) globally.
In which ANOTHER commenter in the same thread makes this totally unnecessary comparison about a 'middle eastern' person she knew to this 'poor, helpless Indian woman' that was being discussed. I.e. essentially equating 'one brown evil religion with the next'.... Cause you know there are only 2 billion Muslim and Hindu's globally, right? And they're all kinda middle eastern and brownish.
Quote: Within the past five years, a 17-yr-old middle-eastern girl in the vicinity was murdered by her cousins for dating someone other than her intended.
c) Pandagon, Punkass Blog. ahhh, I'm tired - I don't want to say anything past 'burqa-gate' and your totally bitching on WOC in your comments section cause you 'just didn't get it'. (I recognize these have already been discussed to death, but I will use them as examples).
and I'm sure there are a shit load more....
Again, if you are going to come back and attack me about using you as examples - reread #3 again. If you are true to your word about being a feminist, not just a 'white feminist in particular', my criticisms of such behaviour are not unwarranted and you will do what you can to either 're-educate yourself' or to call yourself a 'white feminist' or 'white womanist'.
6) Making culturally irrelevant comparisons (or allow such comments to take place in your threads without drawing attention to them - see above). Wut? I.e. if you are not fully familiar with the context or reasoning of the cultural/racial comparison you are trying to make it is best to refrain from making it and sticking to something in which you are making a more effective, informed and intelligent point.
For example
a) I Blame the Patriarchy:
QUOTE: "Writing in the Australian, Pamela Bone complains that when a bunch of Muslim feminists (Muslim feminists! What’s next, “gay Republicans”?) met in New York last week to fix an agenda for dispelling a couple of anti-Muslim rumors going around (that they’re terrorists, and that Islam oppresses women), the media gave it a big fat pass. Bone thinks it should have been front page news on accounta Muslim feminists have the solution for the war on terror."
What is going on here? Twisty did you KNOW that it was MUSLIM - YES, MUSLIM Feminists who managed to organized to get rid of the bill to pass Sharia in Ontario? And guess who took the media gave the credit too at the end of the day???? White feminist lawyers who assisted the Muslim women's case. Go figure.
Also, many religious minorities (like myself) call ourselves "hindu-atheists" or whatever-atheists in recognition of the fact that we are religious minorities and that religious intolerance at the hands of WHITE CHRISTIANS is something that has happened to us, and continually happens whenever we encounter ignoramuses of whatever religion.
Whatever.... I hate religion as much as the next radical leftist person, but oddly enough if you talk to women who've experienced DV they'll tell you "God helped them to survive". It's a fact. Women can't just 'sod-off god' you know... for whatever reasons.
Twisty, again I repeat I totally LOVE your witty, intelligent and smart writing - but if I don't point this shit out - I will suffocate.
b) Women's space:
Quote: Like O.J., my ex was a tall, athletic, charismatic, charming, handsome black man. Like Nicole Brown Simpson, I am blonde and Nordic looking. Simpson and I are both mothers of biracial children, both abuse survivors. Just as nobody believed O.J. was an abuser, nobody believed my ex was an abuser either. He was just so charming and charismatic and fun to be around. Except when he wasn’t.
Heart can you tell me what this was about? I really never understood what relevance it was to point out that Nicole Brown and you were both white and blonde and that both your oppressors were black and male. um, so?
What was the point? Unless, you think racial connections have any bearing on male violence.
Look, again I repeat none of this is about 'breaking connections' or 'bitching at people' it is because I am tired of reading bogus on the net. I am tired of being an 'invisible minority feminist'.
We all need each other. In my heart of hearts I truly believe that it is our politics that unite us, because I only know how much it hurts when other minorities ignore racism/sexism/classism in favour of their limited 'privilege'.
Note this has been Edited. PS. Please do not comment because you think 'I'm bashing your enemy'. This is not a radical feminist or white feminist bashing post. Thank you.
Why'd I start this blog?
Actually, I had no intention of starting one because I'm not the best writer, and I read far too many blogs/articles per day to even try to summarize what I want to say. But at a certain point, I realized when I wrote comments on other people's blogs I was either a)muted b)'attacked'/'insulted' by librul white bois c)generally ignored. So, basically I started this blog for some space to call my own as a WOC.
Anyways, despite being 'political' there are indeed some topics I tend to shy away from (again because I don't think I am the best writer and we all tend to believe - 'someone else is already doing it, do I really need to?'). One of these topics I shy away from is the inability of white feminists to understand their own ignorance and perpetuation of 'racism'. Oh shite, shoot me cause I know y'all are thinking "bloody hell, there goes another one of those coloured gals playing the race card". Whine, whine, whine - is this all these coloured gals do?
It's really quite funny because if it wasn't for the internet I would not have any 'white' (white as 'dominant' not ethnic/religious minority) feminist friends. I do indeed surround myself with people of colour (both progressive and non-progressive). Having said that, I'm not a stranger to internet feminist communities and like many of you, I started out by participating at the Ms. Boards eons ago. At that time however, I was not 'officially' a feminist. I was a learner/lurker.
Over the years, one thing has been made clearer to me than ever - it's that the internet is a white space. Yeah, we can harp about how it's egalitarian - promises to be so etc... But anyone who has a site-meter should/can easily figure out which countries their traffic is coming from. Whatever happened to the golden promises of bridging the 'digital divide'... like everything else that's about inequitable distribution it's been thrown on the back-burner.
I digress, if the majority of bloggers are white and male, and the majority of feminist bloggers are white and middle-class it is no wonder that 'we' (WOC) are often discontent with the content of blogistan. Because I am not a separatist by any account and don't want to start a 'fight' (though there shouldn't be any for anything that I'm saying) I am trying to approach this matter as calmly and rationally as I can.
The following are just my suggestions about how you can stop being an ignorant/indifferent white feminist:
1) Stop quoting mainstream white conservative/liberal media for your 'token' race relations post. BUT if you do - try to look at that article from a 'third world perspective'/'Global South' perspective.
No, I'm fucking serious. You're all very quick to dissect mainstream news when they report/misreport some event that happens to any white woman. You instantly call bias when you see it. You're the first to point out "they're insulting said woman because they said this or that" (and I fully support you when you do this). But, don't you think that the same 'biased' lens is used to report on things that happen to the 'poor, oppressed, 'retarded', incapable, hopeless, voiceless' women of colour masses that comprise the majority of the world? You know it was this same 'save the women of Afghanistan' bullshit that was used by the US govt to invade Afghanistan, right? Women's rights didn't matter until GW wanted to invade a country, despite Afghan women who repeatedly called out for help under the Taliban often risking their lives to call out to the outside world.
So this should make you wonder how WOC are used in the mainstream media. Here's a clue, they're primarily used to perpetuate the idea that all MOC are evil-coloured-patriarchs and they're cultures are backwards and stupid. This is called "R-A-C-I-S-M".
I am not saying that you point out the WOC oppression globally in order to perpetuate myths about them, but rather NONE of this 'documentation work' that you do is supported by adequate WOC analysis or references. I.e you post about it - without any contextualization. You rarely do that for ANY articles written about white women. You scoff and laugh at how they are written in favour of patriarchy.
It's easy to point out patriarchy exists everywhere, it's harder to get a clue on how mainstream media rarely points out stories of the strong women of colour that do amazing work ALL OVER THE WORLD. With all these pathetic coloured women that exist globally - you'd wonder how a diasporic south asian woman ever got 'radicalized'... huh?
Indeed, a very nice prof of mine did ask me this very patronizing question once "How'd you ever become a south Asian [emphasis hers] radical feminist?", to which I responded "the same way you became a white one".
So when you post up an article about how the oppressed, miserable coloured women of the world who are dying under evil-coloured-people's patriarchy - try in some form or shape to account for media bias.
2) Read more WOC books. As a WOC I've been indoctrinated into the same white patriarchal BS that all of you have too, and like you it was not by 'choice'. Like you, I too have to do my homework. I've read all the cornerstone feminist books that you have (more or less) - but how many WOC perspectives do you seriously read? Do you own more than 5 WOC books? Do you own at least 2-3 post-colonial feminist readers/compilations? Do you own any third world books written by WOC?
Even if you do, do you feel you thoroughly understand everything that is being said in those books?
Any feminist theory 101 class has that nice little 'minorities' section tacked on at the end, but seriously - do you think your education on WOC extends only thus far? Because if it does, well then - I too should stop reading all the new material that keeps on being added to this body of work daily. "Hey, we read bell hooks' "Ain't I a Woman" back in 1981, that's all the education we need to know. We're down with the you need your own space bit. We also clap when you make some noise too, we're not the R-word."
Like my own process of ridding myself of my own prejudices will NEVER come to a halt, neither does yours. You too must continually 'get with the program' and 'upgrade' your views. As we know feminism is not isolated from the other political/economic/social pogroms that happen in our world.
3) Stop reacting to our requests with knee-jerkedness. We're not attacking you, we're saying this cause we consider you our allies and if you really support women or claim to be a 'feminist' i.e. one who fights for 'women's rights' then you better realize "I am a woman too" or maybe you need to read "Ain't I a Woman" a few hundred times again.
Such knee-jerkedness is similar to the way privileged white men respond to your accusations of sexism. Accusations that we as women also support.
The funny thing is, y'all probably feel you need to walk on eggshells before you address anything cultural/racial... funny thing is as you will see further in this post how much I have had to hold in over the past few months when I visit your blogs.
4) Don't use us as tokens. This rarely happens in blogistan, but it does happen more often than not in the 'real world'. Many of you feminist bloggers are quick to point out that 'your blogs are not educational resources for men', instead men should take it upon themselves to educate themselves about their own privilege. Likewise, you as white women need to do the same. We are not your token pieces. We are not 'obligated' to 'educate' you about race relations or anything else for that matter.
Like you, on some days I want to just 'shoot the shit'. I do not want to post about feminism/racism/whatever else. I too just want to put up a youtube video and bop my head up and down...
5) This should be fucking self-explanatory: Stop tolerating racist shit on your blogs. And by racist, I'm not only talking about 'overt' racism (which should be obvious) - but the kind of ignorant remarks that I do not have the time or energy to respond to but have read on more than one occasion.
As a radical leftist I am usually quite unforgiving and though my little blog does not matter much - there is a reason why your ass will never be on my 'blogroll' regardless of how big/important/analytical/famous it is. Largely it's because you just don't get it. I may link to a wonderful post you've written, I may link to ten of them because the quality of your writing is amazing and I completely recognize that - but I will never put you on my blogroll. ('yeah, yawn whoop dee doo AD, who cares!').
Some examples:
a) Reclusive Leftist: I really don't know why I am bothering when you continue to tolerate such a vile 'troll' just because you two are 'friends'. Disgusting that's all I can say. Poltergeist - don't even f'ing bother posting here - I will indeed delete every single comment you make.
b) I Blame the Patriarchy:
In which there are at least half a dozen really fucked up comments:
Quote: What really annoyed me about all this was the way some Indian men would come to the West, enjoy the sexual freedom offered here and then go back to India to marry the virgin their families had found for them.
Oh yeah, you know cause those really crazy fucked upeth horny brown men can't keep their hands off pure white pussy, those beastly, junglee savages! Of course this comparison can only be made because 'civilized and educated white men never, ever expect women to be virgins for them'.
Um, sorry lady - it's because women in the west are repeatedly and openly hyper-sexualized (of course not because it's their fault) globally.
In which ANOTHER commenter in the same thread makes this totally unnecessary comparison about a 'middle eastern' person she knew to this 'poor, helpless Indian woman' that was being discussed. I.e. essentially equating 'one brown evil religion with the next'.... Cause you know there are only 2 billion Muslim and Hindu's globally, right? And they're all kinda middle eastern and brownish.
Quote: Within the past five years, a 17-yr-old middle-eastern girl in the vicinity was murdered by her cousins for dating someone other than her intended.
c) Pandagon, Punkass Blog. ahhh, I'm tired - I don't want to say anything past 'burqa-gate' and your totally bitching on WOC in your comments section cause you 'just didn't get it'. (I recognize these have already been discussed to death, but I will use them as examples).
and I'm sure there are a shit load more....
Again, if you are going to come back and attack me about using you as examples - reread #3 again. If you are true to your word about being a feminist, not just a 'white feminist in particular', my criticisms of such behaviour are not unwarranted and you will do what you can to either 're-educate yourself' or to call yourself a 'white feminist' or 'white womanist'.
6) Making culturally irrelevant comparisons (or allow such comments to take place in your threads without drawing attention to them - see above). Wut? I.e. if you are not fully familiar with the context or reasoning of the cultural/racial comparison you are trying to make it is best to refrain from making it and sticking to something in which you are making a more effective, informed and intelligent point.
For example
a) I Blame the Patriarchy:
QUOTE: "Writing in the Australian, Pamela Bone complains that when a bunch of Muslim feminists (Muslim feminists! What’s next, “gay Republicans”?) met in New York last week to fix an agenda for dispelling a couple of anti-Muslim rumors going around (that they’re terrorists, and that Islam oppresses women), the media gave it a big fat pass. Bone thinks it should have been front page news on accounta Muslim feminists have the solution for the war on terror."
What is going on here? Twisty did you KNOW that it was MUSLIM - YES, MUSLIM Feminists who managed to organized to get rid of the bill to pass Sharia in Ontario? And guess who took the media gave the credit too at the end of the day???? White feminist lawyers who assisted the Muslim women's case. Go figure.
Also, many religious minorities (like myself) call ourselves "hindu-atheists" or whatever-atheists in recognition of the fact that we are religious minorities and that religious intolerance at the hands of WHITE CHRISTIANS is something that has happened to us, and continually happens whenever we encounter ignoramuses of whatever religion.
Whatever.... I hate religion as much as the next radical leftist person, but oddly enough if you talk to women who've experienced DV they'll tell you "God helped them to survive". It's a fact. Women can't just 'sod-off god' you know... for whatever reasons.
Twisty, again I repeat I totally LOVE your witty, intelligent and smart writing - but if I don't point this shit out - I will suffocate.
b) Women's space:
Quote: Like O.J., my ex was a tall, athletic, charismatic, charming, handsome black man. Like Nicole Brown Simpson, I am blonde and Nordic looking. Simpson and I are both mothers of biracial children, both abuse survivors. Just as nobody believed O.J. was an abuser, nobody believed my ex was an abuser either. He was just so charming and charismatic and fun to be around. Except when he wasn’t.
Heart can you tell me what this was about? I really never understood what relevance it was to point out that Nicole Brown and you were both white and blonde and that both your oppressors were black and male. um, so?
What was the point? Unless, you think racial connections have any bearing on male violence.
Look, again I repeat none of this is about 'breaking connections' or 'bitching at people' it is because I am tired of reading bogus on the net. I am tired of being an 'invisible minority feminist'.
We all need each other. In my heart of hearts I truly believe that it is our politics that unite us, because I only know how much it hurts when other minorities ignore racism/sexism/classism in favour of their limited 'privilege'.
Note this has been Edited. PS. Please do not comment because you think 'I'm bashing your enemy'. This is not a radical feminist or white feminist bashing post. Thank you.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
HUHO: Help Us Help Ourselves - a Feminist Community Internet Project
Well, the first round of HUHO is closed and has been compiled, I think this was an ingenious idea put together by Lauren of Faux Real. *applause*
The idea is to get everyone to share what they can about areas of their interest/knowledge, in order to fit a shoestring budget. A skills database essentially, brought to you by feminists of ALL stripes and their allies. I think this idea is especially brilliant because of it's potential to share both personal and emotional knowledge so seldom reproduced in society. You might get a 'distanced' kind of learning from self-help books, magazines, etc...but it's depersonalized, removed and authoritarian (usually facilitates to reproduce the status quo not to counter it). It's really quite ironic that despite so much "self-help" and so many make-over shows and shit available, we're all a bit more miserable and always need more self-help and make-overs and shit.
IMO - it's precisely this distancing from personal experiences that allows for this. The personal has transformed from being a source of "knowledge" into being a "spectacle". We take the personal to be distrustful and so we laugh at it, but then we trust some dickwad who's great at dispensing cracker-jack philosophy and trust him (usually someone who's trying to sell us a something) - while we distance ourselves from each other...Coming from an Indian background - I can attest that what my grandmother says isn't assumed to be 'quackery', but rather needs to be 'respected', cherished and believed. When I say this, I'm not talking about 'traditions', I'm talking pragmatically about 'experiential knowledge'.
Okay, I've rambled too much.
Anyways - check out the great tips from everything to child-rearing, tasty recipes to how to take advantage of public transport.
From now on, I'm adding a HUHO category to my blog - anything that is 'accessible, affordable or useful' will be put into this category.
Read more here. (My contributions so far: Cheap Cough Syrup and Depression Advice)
The idea is to get everyone to share what they can about areas of their interest/knowledge, in order to fit a shoestring budget. A skills database essentially, brought to you by feminists of ALL stripes and their allies. I think this idea is especially brilliant because of it's potential to share both personal and emotional knowledge so seldom reproduced in society. You might get a 'distanced' kind of learning from self-help books, magazines, etc...but it's depersonalized, removed and authoritarian (usually facilitates to reproduce the status quo not to counter it). It's really quite ironic that despite so much "self-help" and so many make-over shows and shit available, we're all a bit more miserable and always need more self-help and make-overs and shit.
IMO - it's precisely this distancing from personal experiences that allows for this. The personal has transformed from being a source of "knowledge" into being a "spectacle". We take the personal to be distrustful and so we laugh at it, but then we trust some dickwad who's great at dispensing cracker-jack philosophy and trust him (usually someone who's trying to sell us a something) - while we distance ourselves from each other...Coming from an Indian background - I can attest that what my grandmother says isn't assumed to be 'quackery', but rather needs to be 'respected', cherished and believed. When I say this, I'm not talking about 'traditions', I'm talking pragmatically about 'experiential knowledge'.
Okay, I've rambled too much.
Anyways - check out the great tips from everything to child-rearing, tasty recipes to how to take advantage of public transport.
From now on, I'm adding a HUHO category to my blog - anything that is 'accessible, affordable or useful' will be put into this category.
Read more here. (My contributions so far: Cheap Cough Syrup and Depression Advice)
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Belated recipe - Cold Remedy. Sure-fire guarantee.
So, I know I don't have much of a readership for my blog to 'warrant a regular feature', but it's fun, I must admit.
Cold and flu season is on it's way and might I offer you an infamous 'eastern'* antidote?
This is what my grandma made for me and damn it, it works on 'most' colds and coughs.
Kadha - Cough syrup: The BEST & CHEAPEST ever cough syrup (under $2.00 for a 2 week supply).
Equal amounts of fresh ginger juice (grate and strain ginger) and honey. Dash of black pepper.
Mix all ingredients, bring to a boil in the microwave (usually not more than 20 seconds usually). Store in the fridge for upto three weeks. Reheat before drinking each time. Be careful cause it get's hot fast!
Drink 1 tbsp, twice a day. Do not drink water/eat immediately before/after this syrup.
This is REALLY strong. Just like cough syrup this won't "Cure" you, but just soothe your throat.
Kadha Tea:
1 teabag (orange pekoe preferably)
1 inch long piece of grated ginger with juice
1 tbsp honey
dash blackpepper
2 cloves
dash of turmeric
1.5 cups of water
1-2 tbsp lemon juice
In a small pot, boil all ingredients together. Strain before drinking. Drink 3-4 times a day. For a stronger brew add more ginger and turmeric, boil off excess water.
This is excellent and really makes me feel much better.
*I jest.
Cold and flu season is on it's way and might I offer you an infamous 'eastern'* antidote?
This is what my grandma made for me and damn it, it works on 'most' colds and coughs.
Kadha - Cough syrup: The BEST & CHEAPEST ever cough syrup (under $2.00 for a 2 week supply).
Equal amounts of fresh ginger juice (grate and strain ginger) and honey. Dash of black pepper.
Mix all ingredients, bring to a boil in the microwave (usually not more than 20 seconds usually). Store in the fridge for upto three weeks. Reheat before drinking each time. Be careful cause it get's hot fast!
Drink 1 tbsp, twice a day. Do not drink water/eat immediately before/after this syrup.
This is REALLY strong. Just like cough syrup this won't "Cure" you, but just soothe your throat.
Kadha Tea:
1 teabag (orange pekoe preferably)
1 inch long piece of grated ginger with juice
1 tbsp honey
dash blackpepper
2 cloves
dash of turmeric
1.5 cups of water
1-2 tbsp lemon juice
In a small pot, boil all ingredients together. Strain before drinking. Drink 3-4 times a day. For a stronger brew add more ginger and turmeric, boil off excess water.
This is excellent and really makes me feel much better.
*I jest.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Getting out of a depression: some personal* advice
*Disclaimer: I am not a medical expert, this is not 'expert medical advice'. This is just from my own personal experience, having suffered from depression several years ago.
I don't know why lately many people I know are feeling 'down' or even 'depressed'. Having suffered from a serious depression about 5 years ago, I am trying to recall how I managed to get out of it. I decided to blog about this because of recent blogs that I have read, where the bloggers were also going through depression. I don't know if this will help but these are some of the things that helped me. Much of this might sound like recycled goo that people have been telling you anyways, but I am not just paying lip service here - these things really helped me recover.
1) Learn to live with yourself. Seriously, you are the only one who can really help yourself get through this and when you are feeling depressed you might turn defensive when other people don't 'get' why you are down. You aren't a bad person - and try to see if it's a bad self-image that you have (I'm not talking just about body image here), you might just be your own worst critic. DO NOT be hard on yourself. There is no point. You need to realize this is an illness like anything else. When you break your arm or your leg, it takes time to heal, allow yourself time to heal when you are depressed. You are not going to get better overnight.
2) Get OUT! Seriously, if you find yourself lying around the house in your pjs all day, watching television too much, sleeping too much/too little, eating too much/too little, ignoring household chores, you need to get out. Getting out may start to seem like a big task, it may start to seem like you can't or that you just don't want to be around anyone or see anyone. So start SMALL. Start with getting out to pick up a coffee, the newspaper, go get a loaf of bread from the corner store, go to the bookstore, sit in a park by yourself, walk twice around your block. Anything, just get out - especially if you really don't want to.
3) Call someone that cares about you just to say hi. Or to rephrase, call someone who you know cared about you at some point (though you aren't sure if they still do). Sometimes in a depression people tend to block off others from their life. It starts by avoiding calls, by not returning calls, basically by isolating yourself from social events/interactions. The funny thing is, this is a very vicious cycle. You start believing no one cares about you, when in fact you've facilitated their 'neglect' of you. So call someone that you know cares for you, even if they aren't your bestest friend, even if they don't 'get' you. Just call them. It really helps. And don't play the 'oh it's a sign game' if they don't answer the phone. There are no signs - just like when you aren't depressed and you get a busy tone/no answer - it's the same thing when you are depressed.
4) Set small achievable goals. When I was depressed, I spent most of my time wallowing in the worst self-pity imaginable. I'm talking 18 hours of sleep a day. It was really sad! I learned to set small goals for myself. I'm not even talking about finishing an essay/writing a chapter of a book/making a 7 course meal.
When I say small goals, I mean getting that load of laundry done, cleaning the mess off your desk, opening and eating a can of a soup, washing the dishes in the sink, scrubbing your toilet, going grocery shopping for that can of soup. Once you start developing a pattern you should be able to finish that essay, write that book and making a 7 course meal for the friends you stopped calling.
5) Establish a semblance of a routine. Maybe you are working full-time/part-time - but what are you doing with the hours that you aren't working? Are you doing some of those things I mentioned in #2? When you get home from work, start making sure that around a certain time you get out, do some household chores, cook yourself a meal and call one of your friends. You need not stick to a defined schedule but try to do as much as you can and give yourself plenty of time to do these things.
6) Let it out! Cry and let it out. You need to. You will feel much better if you do. If you are on the subway, in a park, in a public area - find a public washroom and let it out. Sometimes crying can not be helped. When you are depressed you will feel helpless so it is normal to cry during this time. Let it out!
7) Define what makes you content. This is NOT easy. It took me forever to find out what makes me happy. For most (dare I say all) of us happiness is not 'easy' to get, it's a process - it's not an item or object that makes us happy. For me it was knowing I could do a job well. That takes time and also requires drawing motivation to accomplish it. Think about what has made you happy in the past, define those moments that made you the happiest and figure out why you were happy when you did them. Was it a particular activity that made you feel that way? Do you think you could try that again? Is there anything in particular that is stopping you from participating in this? Can you try it again? Do you have anything to lose if you did?
8) Volunteer. I can honestly say that volunteering nearly saved my life. It's not that you just go out and spend 3 hours a week doing something. You have to find something that you like. Most organizations will evaluate your skills based on your past work/volunteer experiences. Chances are if you have done certain things in the past that you liked doing those things/that you are good at them. There are a wide variety of organizations you can volunteer for. It's seriously the best thing I did when I was depressed. I got to make new friends, met like-minded people, got to go out, did something that satisfied me, made some kind of change - it's especially such a damn feministerly thing to do too!!!
Again this is just from my experience, I don't think this can apply to everyone, each person who undergoes depression is facing a unique experience. I know many of my friends who were new immigrants had a very difficult time adjusting to Canada - and in this case I recommended them to see someone about it. If you feel suicidal, or have recurring thoughts about suicide you do need to see someone.
Rest assured, if you have faced a terribly bad depression and feel much better after some time - the next time you are depressed it may just be that the worst has already passed. I haven't been as depressed since that time. I do occasionally get 'down' but that's 'normal' I guess.
Also, I will post about how to get over a 'feminist/leftist' headache sometime in the near future. :)
Update: From Jen's Friends LJ (Feb 20/07) regarding this entry: "I'm pretty sure it's talking about situational depression as opposed to clinical depression.... But situational depression (which was what mine was) is entirely different than clinical depression, and I'm not sure everyone understands the difference. Clinical depression isn't just being down or sad or even depressed for a while - it's a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes it extremely difficult to see the world through anything but mud-coloured glasses. Or so's my understanding.
[ETA: Asked someone. Got this: Situational can still involve a chemical imbalance. a trauma can throw it out of whack for a while. Antidepressants would help but it would probably correct itself eventually on its own. So's my understanding anyway.]"
Thank you for that clarification - I appreciate it, I did not know the difference.
I don't know why lately many people I know are feeling 'down' or even 'depressed'. Having suffered from a serious depression about 5 years ago, I am trying to recall how I managed to get out of it. I decided to blog about this because of recent blogs that I have read, where the bloggers were also going through depression. I don't know if this will help but these are some of the things that helped me. Much of this might sound like recycled goo that people have been telling you anyways, but I am not just paying lip service here - these things really helped me recover.
1) Learn to live with yourself. Seriously, you are the only one who can really help yourself get through this and when you are feeling depressed you might turn defensive when other people don't 'get' why you are down. You aren't a bad person - and try to see if it's a bad self-image that you have (I'm not talking just about body image here), you might just be your own worst critic. DO NOT be hard on yourself. There is no point. You need to realize this is an illness like anything else. When you break your arm or your leg, it takes time to heal, allow yourself time to heal when you are depressed. You are not going to get better overnight.
2) Get OUT! Seriously, if you find yourself lying around the house in your pjs all day, watching television too much, sleeping too much/too little, eating too much/too little, ignoring household chores, you need to get out. Getting out may start to seem like a big task, it may start to seem like you can't or that you just don't want to be around anyone or see anyone. So start SMALL. Start with getting out to pick up a coffee, the newspaper, go get a loaf of bread from the corner store, go to the bookstore, sit in a park by yourself, walk twice around your block. Anything, just get out - especially if you really don't want to.
3) Call someone that cares about you just to say hi. Or to rephrase, call someone who you know cared about you at some point (though you aren't sure if they still do). Sometimes in a depression people tend to block off others from their life. It starts by avoiding calls, by not returning calls, basically by isolating yourself from social events/interactions. The funny thing is, this is a very vicious cycle. You start believing no one cares about you, when in fact you've facilitated their 'neglect' of you. So call someone that you know cares for you, even if they aren't your bestest friend, even if they don't 'get' you. Just call them. It really helps. And don't play the 'oh it's a sign game' if they don't answer the phone. There are no signs - just like when you aren't depressed and you get a busy tone/no answer - it's the same thing when you are depressed.
4) Set small achievable goals. When I was depressed, I spent most of my time wallowing in the worst self-pity imaginable. I'm talking 18 hours of sleep a day. It was really sad! I learned to set small goals for myself. I'm not even talking about finishing an essay/writing a chapter of a book/making a 7 course meal.
When I say small goals, I mean getting that load of laundry done, cleaning the mess off your desk, opening and eating a can of a soup, washing the dishes in the sink, scrubbing your toilet, going grocery shopping for that can of soup. Once you start developing a pattern you should be able to finish that essay, write that book and making a 7 course meal for the friends you stopped calling.
5) Establish a semblance of a routine. Maybe you are working full-time/part-time - but what are you doing with the hours that you aren't working? Are you doing some of those things I mentioned in #2? When you get home from work, start making sure that around a certain time you get out, do some household chores, cook yourself a meal and call one of your friends. You need not stick to a defined schedule but try to do as much as you can and give yourself plenty of time to do these things.
6) Let it out! Cry and let it out. You need to. You will feel much better if you do. If you are on the subway, in a park, in a public area - find a public washroom and let it out. Sometimes crying can not be helped. When you are depressed you will feel helpless so it is normal to cry during this time. Let it out!
7) Define what makes you content. This is NOT easy. It took me forever to find out what makes me happy. For most (dare I say all) of us happiness is not 'easy' to get, it's a process - it's not an item or object that makes us happy. For me it was knowing I could do a job well. That takes time and also requires drawing motivation to accomplish it. Think about what has made you happy in the past, define those moments that made you the happiest and figure out why you were happy when you did them. Was it a particular activity that made you feel that way? Do you think you could try that again? Is there anything in particular that is stopping you from participating in this? Can you try it again? Do you have anything to lose if you did?
8) Volunteer. I can honestly say that volunteering nearly saved my life. It's not that you just go out and spend 3 hours a week doing something. You have to find something that you like. Most organizations will evaluate your skills based on your past work/volunteer experiences. Chances are if you have done certain things in the past that you liked doing those things/that you are good at them. There are a wide variety of organizations you can volunteer for. It's seriously the best thing I did when I was depressed. I got to make new friends, met like-minded people, got to go out, did something that satisfied me, made some kind of change - it's especially such a damn feministerly thing to do too!!!
Again this is just from my experience, I don't think this can apply to everyone, each person who undergoes depression is facing a unique experience. I know many of my friends who were new immigrants had a very difficult time adjusting to Canada - and in this case I recommended them to see someone about it. If you feel suicidal, or have recurring thoughts about suicide you do need to see someone.
Rest assured, if you have faced a terribly bad depression and feel much better after some time - the next time you are depressed it may just be that the worst has already passed. I haven't been as depressed since that time. I do occasionally get 'down' but that's 'normal' I guess.
Also, I will post about how to get over a 'feminist/leftist' headache sometime in the near future. :)
Update: From Jen's Friends LJ (Feb 20/07) regarding this entry: "I'm pretty sure it's talking about situational depression as opposed to clinical depression.... But situational depression (which was what mine was) is entirely different than clinical depression, and I'm not sure everyone understands the difference. Clinical depression isn't just being down or sad or even depressed for a while - it's a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes it extremely difficult to see the world through anything but mud-coloured glasses. Or so's my understanding.
[ETA: Asked someone. Got this: Situational can still involve a chemical imbalance. a trauma can throw it out of whack for a while. Antidepressants would help but it would probably correct itself eventually on its own. So's my understanding anyway.]"
Thank you for that clarification - I appreciate it, I did not know the difference.
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