The Thinking Man's Guide to Bachelor Parties
Whom to invite, where to have it, and more.
By Troy Patterson
Article otherwise known as Trickle-down economics meets empowerment meets cooptation of feminism meets benevolent male consumer meets "the global south" meets white male privilege. Bah, nuff said.
Naturally, "the arts" include exotic dancing: The bachelor should be teased, humiliated, and possibly oil-wrestled by a professional ecdysiast. Some of you may object on feminist grounds, but strippers claim to find their work empowering, and this is no time for a debate. It is sufficiently progressive to treat the dancers with respect and to tip generously.
you SHOULD ALWAYS treat dancers with respect (was there a time where you weren't supposed to, I guess so cause it's now 'progressive'?)... but that's not your real point is it?
Adventuresome sorts might consider a trip overseas, or at least to Montreal, home of Club Super Sexe and its DJ, who brings the most charming Quebecois lilt to such phrases as "Lesbian show, lesbian show!" Amsterdam, Ixtapa, Reykjavik, and Cartegena have also become popular, but who can keep up with extradition treaties? Why not see America first? There's always New Orleans, a jaunt with a humanitarian vibe: The tragedy of Hurricane Katrina may have slipped from the front pages, but the ladies of Larry Flynt's Barely Legal Club still need your support.
Right, because how much of your money actually is going to support the women and not larry flynt.
What's so funny is that the only women who were really welcome back into new orleans during the initial devastation were the strippers, I remember reports detailing how uncomfortable female relief workers felt at that time, so much so that many of them returned.
And you care so much about the feminist cause, no?
I love the idea of 'trickle-down' economics, the whole problem with it is - nothing ever trickles down anywhere until you, the supposedly humanitarian-turned activist consumer, get something out of it. If you are a dude, that's most likely a good old blow-job.... This could of course be anywhere; in the American "global south", thailand, India, the eastern block, hey and now Iraq!
Cause you know, wherever tragedy hits - uncle sam and his henchman will always be there with a bucket ready to collect the sweat and tears of women and children everywhere! (you did say 'barely legal' right?).
PS. If you were really a 'thinking man', I would say - wouldn't you think to ask your fiance/SO what she thought of this? This is of course the wedding issue. Considering that it's women who do most of the wedding planning - maybe this was supposed to be a spot where you exert male entitlement to 'barely legal teens' and by killing two birds with one stone you get to tell women readers what they really ought to expect their future spouses are into. Cause you aren't really addressing a male audience. If you were I'd think that you'd think - that might be something a fiance might be offended by.... But that's an afterthought for the 'thinking man'.
2 comments:
Wow. I'm not familiar with the website, (so couldn't tell how 'serious' this article was meant to be) but I clicked over to read the article and this disturbed me, too:
"Despite what some vulgarians would have you believe, the ritual is not about "one last night of freedom," it is a buoyant affirmation of solidarity. These men are your brothers, your eternal comrades, and, after this party, maybe even your co-defendants."
..because the idea of a party getting so 'out of hand' that charges are brought afterwards (by the strippers?) is funny HOW?
you know brain, that slipped past me in my anger. But yes, 'co-defendants'. I guess he wasn't really for being 'respectful' of strippers anyways.
I didn't know much about slate until I found an article posted on pandagon from that magazine and I do hear about it from a lot of people on occasion, I thought I should expect more - I guess not.
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